This is the Christmas story told as if written by The Sun (UK newspaper) and the more up-market Telegraph broadsheet newspaper. This was written by a church leader, who gave permission for use. Thanks to RF. Please feel free to develop and embellish!
Props / stage directions needed
– Copy of The Sun newspaper (or similar)
– Copy of The Telegraph (or similar)
Stage directions – the reader doing The Sun needs to sound very ‘average joe’ (maybe broad Cockney!) and the Telegraph reader a bit more posh!
Sun Exclusive – Young virgin gives birth to a baby boy!
The Sun can reveal that yesterday a young girl – known only as ‘Mary’ gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Not that unusual except that in this case the couple and their families are insisting that there has been no foul play. Local rumours are that several months ago an angel appeared to the young woman and told her she was going to have a baby. Locals also say that when she heard this all Mary could say was ‘crumbs, what a shock!’ There are unconfirmed reports that a government hit squad have had instructions to find the boy and kill him. The Sun – the paper that supports our boy, says, ‘leave the boy alone!’
Meanwhile the Telegraph..
has interviewed some of the key witnesses of the events surrounding this mysterious birth. Around the time the boy was born some shepherds were visited by a group of dancing angels and the sky was filled with what resembled a laser show. The Shepherds had never seen dancing quite like it and found the experience somewhat traumatic. Interviewed by the Telegraph, the Shepherds have insisted that the angels told them that this was the most significant birth to have ever happened in the history of the human race and that the boy was in fact the long awaited Messiah, God’s special and only Son. After counselling, the shepherds went to Bethlehem and saw the boy for themselves. The Telegraph is still trying to confirm the true identity of the boy
The Sun’s comment
Something should be done! The current housing crisis is crippling many young families who find it impossible to get on the housing ladder. The Sun has learned that the ‘virgin birth’ couple couldn’t find any accommodation when the woman was about to give birth. Fearing that the baby might even be born in the street they were forced to stay in an underground cave where animals were kept. The Sun feels this is a disgrace and is launching a campaign to force the Government to do something about the current housing crisis.
Telegraph exclusive! More on the ‘virgin’s boy’
The Telegraph reveals the identity of the ‘mysterious three’. There has been much speculation about the identity of the men who turned up from the east looking for the virgin’s baby. The three, who have become known locally as ‘the wise guys’, were interrogated by King Herod’s officials as to the boy’s whereabouts. Unconfirmed reports are that King Herod is behind the plot to assassinate the boy. One of the three, who the Telegraph can reveal is an Iraqi astronomer named Patrickus Moorius, explained that they realised something very unusual was about to happen when a bright blue star suddenly appeared in the sky, and guided them to find the boy. It is understood that the ‘wise guys’ have now returned to Iraq, and presumably have seen the boy.
Sun editorial – ‘The virgin boy’ – What does it all mean?
Many are still puzzled that the arrival of a baby boy has caused such a commotion. Why the special delegation of the ‘wise guys’ from the east? Why the assassination squads? Why were the shepherds so traumatised? What did they see? Why was it a ‘virgin birth’? There are many unanswered questions that continue to surround these mysterious events. Perhaps we will simply have to wait and see what it all means and if this baby really turns out to be God’s Son as we have all been led to believe.