Love / Valentines

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The credit for much of this comes from off the internet and is not original content! However, the web page the content no longer exists.

Funny Valentine Messages

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. 
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the
sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “go to hell”.

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

Valentine Day Facts

  • About 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged in US each year. That’s the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas. 
  • Women purchase 85% of all valentines. 
  • In order of popularity, Valentine’s Day cards are given to teachers, children, mothers, wives, sweethearts and pets. 
  • Parents receive 1 out of every 5 valentines. 
  • About 3% of pet owners will give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets. 
  • Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day are the biggest holidays for giving flowers. 
  • Worldwide, over 50 million roses are given for Valentine’s Day each year. 
  • Approximately 110 million roses, the majority red, will be sold and delivered within a three-day time period. 
  • 73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine’s Day are men, while only 27 percent are women. 
  • Men buy most of the millions of boxes of candy and bouquets of flowers given on Valentine’s Day. 
  • The Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare’s lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet every Valentine’s Day. 
  • Richard Cadbury invented the first Valentines Day candy box in the late 1800s. 
  • Alexander Graham Bell applied for his patent on the telephone, an “Improvement in Telegraphy”, on Valentine’s Day, 1876. 
  • The oldest surviving love poem till date is written in a clay tablet from the times of the Sumerians, inventors of writing, around 3500 B.C 
  • Amongst the earliest Valentine’s Day gifts were candies. The most common were chocolates in heart shaped boxes. 
  • In some countries, a young woman may receive a gift of clothing from a prospective suitor. If the gift is kept, then it means she has accepted his proposal of marriage 
  • If an individual thinks of five or six names considered to be suitable marriage partners and twists the stem of an apple while the names are being recited, then it is believed the eventual spouse will be the one whose name was recited at the moment the stem broke. 

Valentine Day Traditions (of course we don’t believe in this stuff!!)

On Valentine’s Day, the first guy’s name you read in the paper or hear on the TV or radio will be the name of the man you will marry. 

If you see a squirrel on Valentine’s Day, you will marry a cheapskate who will hoard all your money. 

If you see a goldfinch on Valentine’s Day, you will marry a millionaire. 

If you see a flock of doves on Valentine’s Day, you will have a happy, peaceful marriage. 

If you find a glove on the road on Valentine’s Day, your future beloved will have the other missing glove.

If an apple is cut in half, the number of seeds found inside the fruit will indicate the number of children that individual will have. 

To be awoken by a kiss on Valentine’s Day is considered lucky. 

If you see a robin on Valentine’s Day, you will marry a crime fighter – maybe they mean Batman! 

Pick a dandelion that has gone to seed. Take a deep breath and blow the seeds into the wind. Count the seed that remain on the stem, and that is the number of children you will have.

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine’s Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire.

In Medieval times, girls ate unusual foods on St Valentine’s Day to make them dream of their future husband. 


1 Corinthians 13.4-8: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

The Bible


Lots of presents are given out on Valentines Day. But these things should only be the icing on the cake. Real love is something very different, as the Bible says. 1 John 3.16 – This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. Real love goes beyond a feeling – it is a commitment.

Love is often spelt, ‘TIME’. You only love someone as much as you spend time with them and listen to them. This Valentines Day, make a commitment that you will love other people around you as much as you would like to be loved. This is honestly the formula for happiness – putting others first, giving and really being interested in other people, being there for them. This is love.