Israel’s Got Talent

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Israel’s Got Talent: King Edition (1060 BC series)

This is basically the story of how God used Samuel to choose David.

The ‘Cast’:

– Samuel (who will need a small bottle of anointing oil)
– Jesse
– Eliab / Abinadab / Shammah (these can be played by one actor)
– David (again can be played by same actor as brothers or another actor) 
– A female ‘advert’ actress who doesn’t mind messing up her hair a bit – with a male voice-over (can be done from ‘off-stage’ or recorded)

You only need 3 actors on stage at any one time (Jesse, Samuel and a ‘son’), so you can get one person to play different parts if needed. Have different cloaks (blankets), a spare beard, a hat – beanie or bandana etc. The female just needs to have long-ish hair.

Option of having cards for Samuel. You’ll need two, saying the following:

1. Say ‘Oooo’
2. Say ‘hooray’ and cheer, clap

Obviously with the ‘sons’ (Eliab, Abinadab, Shammah) you can over-exaggerate the characters to make them a bit ridiculous etc! Each character if played by the same actor should have a different accent as well !

The Stage

The sketch

(Samuel sat side on to the stage on right, facing the audience diagonally and at a desk – as shown in the ‘stage’ image above)

Samuel – Welcome to Israel’s Got Talent: King Edition. Ladies and gentlemen, this is no ordinary episode we’re hosting tonight. This is a special one-off – it’s the King Edition.

(Holds up ‘Oooo’ card, encouraging audience to say ‘Oooo’).

And now, would you welcome your host with the most… Jesse…

(Holds up ‘hooray’ card)

(Jesse walks on stage and stands on the opposite side of the stage to Samuel, again facing slightly diagonally – helping the audience to see his face).

Jesse – Good evening ladies and gents. Yes welcome to my humble home here in Bethlehem. Let me introduce your judge for this evening. Some say that he was dedicated to God at a young age by his mother. Others say that he heard God call him when he was around 12 years old. Some people say he is one of Israel’s most famous prophets who can hear the voice of God. Some say his name means ‘Name of God’. Would you welcome… Samuel…

Samuel – Thank you for that long intro Jesse. Now ladies and gentlemen, Jesse will be acting as the MC for this evening’s contest where he’ll be parading his sons to find out who will be the winner of Israel’s Got Talent… King Edition.

(Holds up ‘Oooo’ card)

Jesse – Thank you Samuel. First up, we have son number one. He’s tall, he’s handsome and he’s a hit with the ladies… Would you welcome Eliab…

(Jesse encourages people to clap. Samuel holds up ‘hooray’ card. Eliab walks on stage like a model walking down a catwalk.)

Now, Eliab, my oldest son. Would you tell Samuel a little bit about yourself…

Eliab – (Very smooth talking and confident. You can make him very ‘This Is Essex’ with a bit of bling and a bit smarmy etc). 

Hi, I’m Eliab and the best looking in this family if I do say so myself. I’m tall, very very fit and the ladies love me. I’m good at working out, as you can probably tell..

(He flexes his muscles, wafts his hair etc) 

I’ve also got a killer whole body sun tan and I like to eat vegetables and protein shakes to keep this killer body in shape… 

(Holds out his hands and nods at people, expecting approval).

Jesse – Samuel, you’ve heard what Eliab has had to say. Do we have a ‘yes’ from you?

Samuel – He’s got some style and self-confidence, but sorry, it’s a ‘No’ from me…

(Jesse comforts Eliab and ushers him off-stage)

Jesse – OK, son number two… Everyone would you welcome Abinadab…

(Jesse encourages people to clap. Samuel holds up ‘hooray’ card. Abinadab comes on doing a kind of boxing thing with lots of quick steps and movements etc. Jesse gets out a towel and starts massaging Abindab’s shoulders as if he’s in the boxing ring)

Samuel – A dramatic entrance Abinadab, but let’s hear more about you.

Abinadab – I likes me boxing me. I’m a champion in the ring; have done trail running in the nearby hills, usually 20k a day. I can do 100 press-ups in a minute (gets down and does a couple of quick press-ups); I won the recent Bethlehem sheep-shearing contest and am a champion weightlifter. If there’s a sport, I can play it and play it well. In fact I’m probably the best around these parts.

Jesse – Samuel… You’ve heard about his athletic prowess. But what about his suitability for the winner of Israel’s Got Talent: King Edition…?

Samuel – Again, impressive athleticism and clearly a very talented young man. But I’m afraid it’s another ‘No’ from me…

(Jesse hold back Abinadab from doing some boxing on Samuel and pushes him off-stage)

Jesse – Our final contestant tonight… Would everyone welcome… Shammah…

(Jesse encourages people to clap. Samuel holds up ‘hooray’ card. Shammah floats on and sits down adopting a kind of eastern religion cross-legged posture with his fingers up in a kind of trance)

This is Shammah and he’s the very spiritual one of the family. Shammah, what do you have to say…?

(Shammah sits there without speaking. Jesse goes up close and shouts a bit louder at him to get him to respond)

Shammah, what do you have to say?

Shammah – Go away. You’re disturbing my karma as I connect myself with the forces of energy that lie in this ancient circle of meditation. I am floating beyond the realities of this metaphorical state of being and transcending to the higher levels of spiritual discipline and perceptive realities of the meta-physical realm.

(Shammah lapses back into some spiritual murmuring)

Jesse – As you can see, Shammah has a spiritual side. So, Samuel, what do you say? Surely, this must be the one? The winner…?

Samuel – As much as his spiritual side seems interesting, it’s not what God’s looking for, so again it’s a ‘No’ from me.

(Jesse looks a bit confused and has to half carry off the still meditating Shammah)

Are there no more sons?

Jesse – Well, there is one more, David. But he’s just out in the fields with a few sheep.

Samuel – Fetch him for me please.

Jesse – OK… Ladies and gentlemen I’ll have to go and get David. So in the meantime, we’ll take a short advert break…

(Jesse walks off-stage)

Advert Break

(Female walks on slowly. Voice-over from off-stage. She has shaving foam hidden in her pocket or behind her back etc). 

Voice-Over – Do you want great hair? Have you got problems with your roots? Traditional conditioners not working for you. Try Bethlehem Shaving Foam to give you luscious hair with that modern contemporary luxurious feel and look. 

(You can replace the ‘Shaving Foam’ bit with something else equally ridiculous but harmless! You can even create a ‘label’ for the foam and give it a new name)

(The female advert actress then sprays a load of foam on her hand and puts it all over her hair in a crazy manner, then shakes her head around so her hair looks crazy and leaves it there, adopting a ‘model’ type of pose)

Voice-Over – The new, Bethlehem Shaving Foam. Break free…

(The female advert actress walks off stage)

Jesse – (Walks back on stage).

OK, ladies and gentlemen, our final contestant tonight is the shepherd-boy, David…

(Jesse encourages people to clap. Samuel holds up ‘hooray’ card. David walks on.)

Samuel – David, let’s hear more about you…

David – Well I look after the sheep in the fields. I also play the harp and have written a few songs but it’s not about me you understand. It’s about God. People think that being a shepherd is a lowdown job but not for me. I’m prepared to do what God tells me to do. And it’s not always easy – there are lions, bears and other predators out there. So you have to keep your wits about you. Most importantly I know that God is strong and he’s the one who helps me. I’m not sure what this is all about but I do need to get back to feed the sheep.

Jesse – Samuel, you’ve heard from the boy David. Can he go back to the fields now…?

Samuel – David, I’ve heard what you have to say and your humility and love for God. God’s told me to rise and anoint you; for you are the one. It’s a ‘Yes’ from me.

(Jesse and David look a little confused at first but gradually Jesse starts clapping. Samuel also claps and stands up, walks over to David and prays for him. Samuel takes out his bottle of anointing oil).

David, I anoint you as King of Israel – be ready for when the time comes. God has seen you and found a man after his own heart. 

David – Amen. I will do what God says and follow him.

Jesse – (Turns and faces the audience)

It’s been an interesting edition of Israel’s Got Talent but we have found our new King. Ladies and gentlemen, would you give it up for David…

(Jesse picks up the ‘hooray’ card. Everyone walks off stage as the audience claps).