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preacher

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Apologies...

...but this sketch parodies exhibitionist preachers - parodying some of their excesses, excessive preaching and associated actions and nuances. I'm from a charismatic church, so am not getting at anyone specifically. However, some of the excesses deserve parodying, certainly compared to the anonymous who serve God faithfully and obediently. I think a lot of our Christian 'gospel' in the West has become too selfish, proud and self-seeking. God is seeking obedient servants who will walk humbly with their God. This is just a friendly way of questioning some of the exuberance and even un-Godly practices.

Can I also say, we are not called to judge other ministries and people (that isn't the purpose of this sketch!), but to walk our own road, confess our sins, be obedient and to search our own hearts, walking humbly before our God.

Scene

A church. The preacher is striding up and down purposefully. They can be wearing a very sharp suit, with various items of bling hanging down from their person, glittering watches, anything like that!

Overview

This is a monologue to be learned, although you could read it from a 'pulpit' as a 'script'. But you should practice this a lot, like any good drama, and 'take on' the character and think, speak how they would. The drama will succeed with the character and performance of you, the actor. So learn well and exaggerate all, deep south accent optional. The 'preacher' is non-racial, ie can be of any colour.
You can accentuate certain words by emphasising the end letters of certain words (Lord, Jesus, Hallelujah, Amen, God). So, for example, 'Jesus' becomes 'Jesus-u' and 'church' becomes 'chur-chu' etc. You can also draw out words, so 'God' becomes 'Gooooo-du' (making an 'o' sound as in 'on')
Props will include a Bible, a pulpit, glass of water, and a handkerchief. Periodically, you must shout. It seems that for many (especially US?) preachers, SHOUTING seems to be an essential element, often to the extent of damaging voices. I don't think you can be a preacher without it... ;)

The Sketch

Welcome to the Dream of the Resurrected Heavenly Bride Victory Church for our Summer conference: The Glory, Signs & Wonders Breakthrough Revival Outpouring conference.

(Shouts some kind of spiritual squeal - like a James Brown kind of noise)

Today, brothers and sisters, we have come together in the house of the Lord.. Amen? Can I get an amen? The house of the Lord, is the church. We are the church. Hallelujah, praise Jesus.. (Wipes brow). Praise the Lord, I can feel in my spirit that we're going to hear from God. Today.. Everybody say 'today'. Amen! Today, we will be reading from the Word of God. Everyone say, 'the Word of God'. Hallelujah, praise Jesus. We're going to be looking at hell, praise Jesus. Amen. Everybody say after me.. (raises voice and hands to heaven) 'I shall go to heaven'.. Amen. (wipes brow, takes a sip of the drink).

Mmmmm, can anyone else feel that today, God is going to break through (shouts) BREAKTHROUGH. Everybody say after me, Breakthrough.. Breakthrough.. Breakthrough.. (gets louder as he shouts). Can anyone feel it. I know that the angels are here with us, ministering angels ready to come from the heavens above to the earth to bring you, your very own miracle. I feel it, I see it in the Spirit. Mmmmmm....

I can feel the glory. Everybody say 'glory'. Oh yes, Jesus. We're about to get this GOING ON! This is a Holy Spirit party (pronounce it partay). Tonight will be an impartation service, if you want an impartation, stand up and raise your arms and let the Lord know that you are ready. The higher those arms go, the louder you SHOUT your voices, the more likely God is to hear you and move to bring your healing breakthrough miracle glory. So let's SHOUT, SHOUT, SHOUT up to the Lord. (Wipes brow) Mmmmm, I can feel something big is going to breakthrough in your life - in your finances, in your relationships..

Before we go on any further, I wanna thank you for bringing me here. I thank you because I know God's given me special gifts and an anointing that few others can bring to this place tonight. I know, I know, it's OK. You can get some of that glory (pronounce glo-ray) from off of me tonight, straight from the very throne room. We're going see your breakthrough, angels and gold dust falling from the ceiling, to get us RICH! I say RICH cos God is rich and owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Mmmmmm..

So tonight, let's give our money because as we give, we know that God will work on our behalf. Let's give generously because God loves a generous giver. We know that as you give, God will give back to you. Your breakthrough will come faster the more you give. You know that as you give, we will be praying for you and you will see the glory, the fire and the breakthrough that you nee-d. I say BREAKTHROUGH! Amen, glory to God. Glory. Thank you, yes thank you Jesus-u.. Bring your tithes and offerings into the storehouse as the buckets pass around the room. Yes.

You know that as you give into my ministry, you'll see my ministry across the globe and know that you're part of me changing lives, one life at a time. I want to see 1 million of you partner with me to reach 1 billion souls. With your money and the gift that I have, we can see that happen.. We're in God's kingdom and he'll give you abundance. You want a car, you got it. You want a new plasma TV, you've got it. You want a brand new house, you've got it. Just sow into this ministry and see what happens. Don't tell me you're too poor and got no money. God won't be pleased with that kind of attitude. You must give and give all you can, beyond what you can. Only then will you see God really move..

Now it's time to confess. Repeat after me.. I will have my breakthrough tonight.. It is my time.. It's the day of breakthrough.. Of glory.. Of fire.. Of my miracle.. I will get my miracle.. Nothing can stop me.. Nothing can hold me back.. I am a child of God.. I receive my breakthrough.. NOW.. NOW.. NOW... Now give God glory in the house of God (starts clapping and encouraging everyone to clap). Come on, come on, there's a Holy Ghost party going on, there's angels dancing in this room and in the heavenly places. Glory!

It's time to get your faith. As you speak, so shall your breathrough be. Get that faith stirred up. It's time to believe. Start speaking to those mountains and see them come crashing down. No more doubt inside. It's time to get that faith rolling and kicking and screaming. COME ON! GLORY! Get that faith going. It's time to boldly confess, to speak life and see things CHANGED! Everyone say, 'CHANGED'.. Mmmmm. I can feel the anointing in this place, can you sense it. I can feel it in the air.. (gets quiet). The presence. The presence of God. This is holy ground.. (Suddenly shouts). HOLY! Yesss Lord. HOLY! (wipes his brow again, has a sip of water).

I prophesy that tonight is the night of your breakthrough. If you need breakthrough, you need to shout. Shout like you've never shouted and shout again. We're in the end times right now. I feel that this is the generation. We're going to see Jesus return in this generation. But only if we tell him how passionate we are about him and his name. I tell you I can see it, I see it coming. Prophesy!

Mmmm, stand up now and raise your hands up. The higher those hands are raised, the more God is gonna move. Yes, Amen. Glory. Yes, you know it's true. I speak God's anointing and favour over you now, you will have everything you say that you will have. Tonight is BREAKTHROUGH night. Everybody shout, 'breakthrough night'. Say it again.. Mmmmm. I can feel it in the air. Tonight is your breakthrough. Amen, thank you.

Now it's time for me to be leaving in my Rolls Royce. I need to fly to the next city in my private jet before the next glory anointed revival healing meeting. I need to get ready, get myself a new Armani suit, with some crocodile shoes and my Rolex watch. But God will do the same for you. Just place your best gift offering into the plates as you leave. Glory..

Questions

1 Timothy 5:17-18: The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, "Do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain," and "The worker deserves his wages."

What does this mean in reality? How do we honour those who lead churches and give people the wages they deserve?

Matthew 23:12 - "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

1 Peter 5:6 (Amplified Bible) - Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you

What does it mean to 'humble yourself'? What does it mean for God to 'exalt' you?

1 Samuel 16.7 - "...The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

When God looks at your heart, what do you think he sees? Is there anything in your heart that is wrong, that you need to turn away from? Make a change today.

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