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angels

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Intro

We just want to again state that in no way do we want to disrespect angels and are in no doubt as to what the Bible actually says about them. This is a sketch for a bit of fun but you can hit home a powerful point as well. The trainee angels should have 'L' plates around them and maybe half wings (do something creative with them, or perhaps just a wing each). Gabriel should be in full costume and looking perfect.

Angels in the highest

Gabriel - OK, so welcome to Angel Training School. My name's Gabriel and I'll be your trainer today. You may have met my colleague Michael in sword-training. Today's lesson plan is entitled heavenly hovering and saintly singing. If you look at your lesson plan sheets you'll see an outline of the lesson. Now I may have to disappear at some point as there's some pretty big things happening down on earth at the moment. If you do well, we may even all get called out. Things have been pretty busy recently. I've already been down to earth a couple of times on some special missions to two women, one called Elizabeth, one called Mary. Some big things have been happening and we're all watching on to see how everything works out. It will work because God is in charge... Right, so, any questions?

Trainee 1 - Erm. Yes I wasn't so good at sword-fighting. I'm black and blue all over.

Trainee 2 - Yes but you didn't put on your chest protector. You were warned.

Trainee 1 - Yes but it didn't fit. If David didn't need Saul's armour then I don't need fencing armour.

Trainee 2 - Yes but David was used to fighting lions and bears. You've been struggling to fight off a cold...

Gabriel - Anyway! Attention trainees, you'll both get better at sword skills believe me. We'll make warriors out of you yet! Now let's first turn our attention to saintly singing. Now, when humans think about angels and singing they imagine some heavenly choir sitting on a cloud. Things aren't quite like that round here. Over the years we've jazzed things up a bit with various world influences and styles. We've had angelic string quartets; a barbershop four; some jive bunny angels; there's breakdancing Bill and his bounding breakers; young Nigel's got a grime and MC crew that have been battling some other angel crews. But today we'll just be learning basic singing.

Trainee 1 - I can't really sing that well.

Trainee 2 - You can't sing at all. The last time you tried singing it sounded more like a fog horn. You had all the other trainee angels diving for cover. I'm sure a window smashed...

Trainee 1 - I've told you already, that window smashing was a coincidence...

Gabriel - Well if you've been anywhere near the throne-room worship team, you'll know that the harmonies are beyond what words can describe. Everyone in perfect harmony, with music like colours and colours like music. Thousands upon thousands worshipping God in awe and with sounds that go beyond the sounds that humans can hear or even think of...

Trainees - (Pause, both lost in absolute awe).

Gabriel - So I'm thinking you may have a way to go. But we'll see how you do. I mean, everyone has their gifting. Some angels go up and down the stairway to heaven...

Trainee 1 - Wasn't that a song or something?

Trainee 2 - Not when you start singing it, it isn't...

Gabriel - Other angels are assigned to protection duties.

Trainee 2 - A bit like bodyguards?

Trainee 1 - Wasn't that a movie?

Gabriel - No it's nothing like the movie... Some angels are sent to protect God's people. Some angels are sent to be with God's people as they pass from earthly life to eternal life in heaven. Other angels are called to be destroying angels. They're being held back at the moment for the future. But that's for another time.

Trainee 1 - So what kind of angel do you think I'll be?

Trainee 2 - An unemployed angel...

Gabriel - OK so let's get back to the lesson. Singing... Now, as those earth scientists have only recently found out, the key of the universe is B flat. Think there's a few other surprises out there in the universe that may confuse their 'wise' minds. But anyway. Let's hear you give us a B flat...

Trainee 2 - (Sings). Laaaaaaa....

Trainee 1 - Do I have to sing? (Gabriel nods so Trainee 1 blurts out a horrible kind of sound).

(Pause as Gabriel and Trainee 1 look on in silent horror).

Trainee 1 - I can't really sing. I'm more of a guitar player...

Gabriel - A guitar player eh? (Thinks). Right, so maybe we'll try you singing in G...

Trainee 1 - (Sings perfectly).

Gabriel - Don't tell me we're going to have to re-key everything for you...

Trainee 2 - Can't you fit him with a capo or something. It's capo 3.

Gabriel - (hears something). No time lads, it's happened. Down on earth.

Trainee 2 - What's happened?

Gabriel - I can't believe it. God has sent his Son to earth to be born as a baby. So this is God's plan for the people of the world to be saved and be made right with God... We're being called down. There are some shepherds on a hill who God is sending us down to.

Trainee 1 - What are we going down for?

Gabriel - It's Songs of Praise time. This time it's not that lame version you see on TV. This is for real. We're going in as a team to a hillside near Bethlehem in Israel. We're going in with harmonies and voices praising God that will have only been seen in the throne room of God himself. This is going to be one awesome demonstration to the world that God is real, that he has a plan for mankind and that God is love. We're going to shine with God's love and power to those shepherds.

Trainee 1 - (In awe). Really? That is awesome.

Trainee 2 - So what do we say when we get there?

Gabriel - God has spoken to me to say this, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Trainee 2 - So then what?

Trainee 1 - (All excited). Yes, so what then? What do we do?

Gabriel - You'll appear with the others who have been chosen. We'll be praising God together and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Trainee 1 - In the key of G, right?

Gabriel - In the key of G. Come on, let's go...

(Angels all exit)

END

Sketch added 03/12/12

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